1
00:00:05,783 --> 00:00:11,580
[■■]

2
00:00:12,289 --> 00:00:12,331
[EVANY] AND IF WE LOOK AT THE

3
00:00:13,082 --> 00:00:14,041
SHIFT IN PROJECTIONS FROM 02 TO

4
00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:15,334
TODAY, WE'LL NOTICE THAT--

5
00:00:15,835 --> 00:00:19,338
(PHONE RINGING)

6
00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:20,131
[EVANY] I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A

7
00:00:21,215 --> 00:00:21,423
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

8
00:00:22,174 --> 00:00:23,134
WHO'S PHONE IS THAT, SERIOUSLY?

9
00:00:23,801 --> 00:00:33,561
(PHONE RINGING)

10
00:00:34,019 --> 00:00:36,063
[EVANY] OKAY.

11
00:00:36,605 --> 00:00:37,982
(PHONE RINGING)

12
00:00:38,649 --> 00:00:38,690
[EVANY] WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT

13
00:00:38,691 --> 00:00:38,858
GOING TO ANSWER IT,

14
00:00:39,483 --> 00:00:39,525
I'M GOING TO ANSWER IT.

15
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[GIANT PHONE] NO!

16
00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:42,528
(SCREAMING)

17
00:00:43,696 --> 00:01:06,093
[■■]

18
00:01:06,886 --> 00:01:07,511
[CHERYL] HEY GUYS. SO WE THOUGHT

19
00:01:08,179 --> 00:01:08,929
WE'D START OFF THIS WEEK BY

20
00:01:09,638 --> 00:01:10,097
READING A LITTLE FAN MAIL.

21
00:01:10,806 --> 00:01:11,515
[MARK] "DEAR PICNICFACE,

22
00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:13,976
SEASON 2 WAS AMAZING BUT--"

23
00:01:14,351 --> 00:01:15,019
SEASON 2?

24
00:01:15,603 --> 00:01:16,187
[CHERYL] OH YEAH.

25
00:01:17,062 --> 00:01:17,188
THIS IS FAN MAIL FROM THE

26
00:01:18,606 --> 00:01:21,901
[■■]

27
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[ANDREW] "DEAR PICNICFACE,

28
00:01:23,485 --> 00:01:26,322
YOUR SHOW IS 'DA BOMB'.

29
00:01:27,072 --> 00:01:28,449
MARK LITTLE IS LIKE A HILARIOUS

30
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,744
ORB RIDING AN AMAZING SEADOO."

31
00:01:32,328 --> 00:01:32,661
DID YOU WRITE THESE?

32
00:01:33,078 --> 00:01:34,330
[MARK] NO.

33
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,081
[ANDREW] OH HERE'S ONE FOR ME.

34
00:01:36,624 --> 00:01:37,124
"DEAR PICNICFACE,

35
00:01:37,917 --> 00:01:38,334
ANDY HAS BECOME INCREDIBLY FAT

36
00:01:39,001 --> 00:01:39,376
AND BALD. WHY DOES HE DRINK

37
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:40,377
DURING THE SKETCHES?"

38
00:01:41,003 --> 00:01:41,754
THANK YOU FOR THAT ONE.

39
00:01:42,463 --> 00:01:43,756
[ANDREW] "MARK IS THE BEST".

40
00:01:44,465 --> 00:01:45,049
"ANDY SHOULD BE REPLACED BY

41
00:01:45,549 --> 00:01:45,841
A SECOND MARK."

42
00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:46,634
WHAT IS THAT?

43
00:01:47,259 --> 00:01:47,301
[ANDREW] LOOK AT THIS!

44
00:01:47,718 --> 00:01:48,219
THEY'RE ALL FOR MARK.

45
00:01:48,928 --> 00:01:49,220
THIS IS INSANE.

46
00:01:50,137 --> 00:01:50,221
[ANDREW] "DEAR PICNICFACE,

47
00:01:51,013 --> 00:01:51,680
MARK REALLY SHINES IN

48
00:01:52,097 --> 00:01:53,182
SEASON 3."

49
00:01:53,724 --> 00:01:54,225
"DEAR PICNICFACE,

50
00:01:54,892 --> 00:01:55,726
I'M GOING TO...

51
00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:57,978
...KILL MARK LITTLE."

52
00:01:58,604 --> 00:02:00,231
[MARK] WHO WROTE THIS?

53
00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:04,026
ALFONSO GREEN, HALIFAX?

54
00:02:04,693 --> 00:02:07,112
HE LIVES HERE, IN HALIFAX?

55
00:02:07,821 --> 00:02:08,989
[MARK] "WE ALL MISS MARK SO

56
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:11,242
MUCH. HE WAS THE BACKBONE OF THE

57
00:02:11,825 --> 00:02:12,660
SKETCH TROUPE."

58
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:13,202
[MARK] THAT'S IT.

59
00:02:13,953 --> 00:02:14,370
I JUST GET MURDERED IN SEASON 4

60
00:02:14,828 --> 00:02:15,287
AND THAT'S IT?

61
00:02:15,955 --> 00:02:16,956
[BILL] WE GET FOUR SEASONS?

62
00:02:17,706 --> 00:02:17,790
[MARK] CHERYL, WHERE DID YOU GET

63
00:02:18,123 --> 00:02:18,666
THESE?!

64
00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:19,875
[MARK] THE WHAT?

65
00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:21,585
[MARK] THE FUTURE MAILMAN?

66
00:02:22,336 --> 00:02:22,378
[CHERYL] YEAH, HE DELIVERS THE

67
00:02:22,753 --> 00:02:23,254
FUTURE MAIL.

68
00:02:23,837 --> 00:02:23,921
[MARK] OH WHAT?

69
00:02:24,588 --> 00:02:25,256
WHAT, HE DRIVES AROUND IN A

70
00:02:25,839 --> 00:02:26,757
FUTURE MAIL VAN?

71
00:02:27,508 --> 00:02:27,549
[CHERYL] DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL

72
00:02:27,967 --> 00:02:28,550
HIM? I'LL JUST CALL HIM.

73
00:02:29,093 --> 00:02:29,134
[MARK] YEAH, OKAY.

74
00:02:29,843 --> 00:02:29,885
YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM A

75
00:02:30,928 --> 00:02:32,263
(BUZZING)

76
00:02:33,138 --> 00:02:33,179
[FUTURE MAILMAN] HELLO CHERYL.

77
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:33,597
[CHERYL] HEY, WHAT'S UP?

78
00:02:34,265 --> 00:02:34,306
[FUTURE MAILMAN] IT'S GOOD

79
00:02:34,723 --> 00:02:34,807
SEEING YOU AGAIN.

80
00:02:35,307 --> 00:02:35,724
[CHERYL] YEAH.

81
00:02:36,475 --> 00:02:36,517
[FUTURE MAILMAN] I'M SORRY IF MY

82
00:02:37,059 --> 00:02:37,101
MAIL HAS CAUSED YOU ANY

83
00:02:37,726 --> 00:02:40,479
DISTRESS. BUT FOR NOW,

84
00:02:41,063 --> 00:02:43,315
THE FUTURE NEEDS ME.

85
00:02:43,691 --> 00:02:44,275
GOODBYE.

86
00:02:44,942 --> 00:02:46,235
[CHERYL] GOODBYE.

87
00:02:46,610 --> 00:02:51,949
(SIGH)

88
00:02:52,491 --> 00:02:52,950
[MARK] INCREDIBLE.

89
00:02:53,701 --> 00:02:53,826
DID YOU TWO HAVE SOME SORT OF

90
00:02:54,285 --> 00:02:54,702
RELATIONSHIP?

91
00:02:55,202 --> 00:02:55,452
THAT GOT WEIRD.

92
00:02:56,161 --> 00:02:56,203
[CHERYL] I DON'T WANT TO TALK

93
00:02:57,705 --> 00:03:01,667
[■■]

94
00:03:02,418 --> 00:03:02,459
[SCOTT] HEY, LOOK AT THAT COUPLE

95
00:03:02,876 --> 00:03:06,046
OVER THERE.

96
00:03:07,131 --> 00:03:08,549
THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT?

97
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:09,341
[CHERYL] "OH HONEY, WHAT KIND OF

98
00:03:10,217 --> 00:03:10,301
DRAPES DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD

99
00:03:10,843 --> 00:03:11,343
BUY?"

100
00:03:12,011 --> 00:03:12,052
[SCOTT] "OH, I DON'T KNOW.

101
00:03:12,636 --> 00:03:13,762
I'M TOO BUSY WITH MY JOB AT

102
00:03:14,346 --> 00:03:16,307
THE STAPLER FACTORY."

103
00:03:17,182 --> 00:03:18,309
[CHERYL] "BUT HONEY, THE DRAPES!

104
00:03:19,226 --> 00:03:20,311
THE DRAPES ARE SO IMPORTANT."

105
00:03:21,145 --> 00:03:21,186
[ANDREW] (SCOTT'S VOICE)

106
00:03:21,729 --> 00:03:22,354
"HEY, LOOK AT THAT COUPLE OVER

107
00:03:22,688 --> 00:03:24,148
THERE.

108
00:03:24,898 --> 00:03:26,483
[SCOTT] ARE THEY MOCKING US?"

109
00:03:27,192 --> 00:03:27,234
[CHERYL] "HONEY, JUST IGNORE

110
00:03:27,568 --> 00:03:28,319
THEM."

111
00:03:29,778 --> 00:03:30,237
NO, I'M GOING TO IGNORE THEM.

112
00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:31,196
WE COME OUT HERE TO HAVE A NICE

113
00:03:31,905 --> 00:03:32,031
TIME AND WE END UP BEING...

114
00:03:32,698 --> 00:03:32,740
[SCOTT] "SOMEBODY ELSE'S

115
00:03:33,073 --> 00:03:33,741
ENTERTAINMENT.

116
00:03:34,408 --> 00:03:34,450
[ANDREW] (SCOTT'S VOICE)

117
00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:36,618
YOU KNOW WHAT? GET MY GUN.

118
00:03:37,369 --> 00:03:37,411
[CHERYL] "NO, I WON'T WON'T HAVE

119
00:03:37,953 --> 00:03:37,995
YOU GO BACK..."

120
00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:38,412
[EVANY] (CHERYL'S VOICE)

121
00:03:38,912 --> 00:03:38,954
...TO JAIL OVER THIS.

122
00:03:39,496 --> 00:03:39,538
[ANDREW] (SCOTT'S VOICE)

123
00:03:39,997 --> 00:03:40,039
YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?

124
00:03:40,664 --> 00:03:41,165
DO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?

125
00:03:41,915 --> 00:03:42,333
OH YEAH? WELL, LET'S SEE WHO'S

126
00:03:43,292 --> 00:03:43,625
LAUGHING WHEN I SHOOT YOU...

127
00:03:44,293 --> 00:03:44,501
[SCOTT] ..."IN THE KNEES."

128
00:03:45,127 --> 00:03:45,627
[ANDREW] (SCOTT'S VOICE)

129
00:03:46,337 --> 00:03:46,962
I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU IN THE

130
00:03:47,338 --> 00:03:48,797
KNEES!

131
00:03:49,298 --> 00:03:50,090
[SCOTT] (SINGING)

132
00:03:50,716 --> 00:03:51,258
"GOING TO GET MY GUN."

133
00:03:52,301 --> 00:03:52,343
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS...

134
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:52,801
[CHERYL] ..."YOU DON'T

135
00:03:52,926 --> 00:03:52,968
UNDERSTAND...

136
00:03:53,886 --> 00:03:54,219
...HE'S UNSTABLE.

137
00:03:54,887 --> 00:03:54,928
[ANDREW] (SCOTT'S VOICE)

138
00:03:55,387 --> 00:03:56,347
DOE-DEE-DOE-DEE-DOE.

139
00:03:57,139 --> 00:03:58,223
SO LET'S SEE-- WHAT THE F---?!

140
00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,767
OH NO!

141
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:04,063
(BANG)

142
00:04:04,521 --> 00:04:06,357
(PHONE RINGING)

143
00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:07,358
[SCOTT] HELLO?

144
00:04:07,775 --> 00:04:07,941
HEY MAN.

145
00:04:08,692 --> 00:04:08,734
YEAH, WE'RE STILL AT THE COFFEE

146
00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:09,193
SHOP.

147
00:04:09,818 --> 00:04:10,110
[ANDREW] (SCOTT'S VOICE)

148
00:04:10,819 --> 00:04:10,860
WHAT TIME ARE WE SUPPOSED TO

149
00:04:10,861 --> 00:04:12,154
MEET YOU AT?

150
00:04:12,529 --> 00:04:13,447
SH---.

151
00:04:13,781 --> 00:04:14,406
YEAH.

152
00:04:24,041 --> 00:04:27,378
[■■]

153
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:27,961
[ROGER] HEY, DON?

154
00:04:28,337 --> 00:04:28,420
[DON] YEAH?

155
00:04:29,171 --> 00:04:29,213
[ROGER] I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M

156
00:04:29,671 --> 00:04:30,881
HAPPY YOU'RE MY BEST MAN.

157
00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:32,216
[DON] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

158
00:04:33,008 --> 00:04:33,050
[ROGER] WE HAD SOME GOOD TIMES,

159
00:04:33,258 --> 00:04:34,551
HAVEN'T WE?

160
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:37,721
[■■]

161
00:04:38,138 --> 00:04:40,099
[DON] YEAH.

162
00:05:41,910 --> 00:05:53,964
[■■]

163
00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:54,631
[ROGER] WHAT WAS THAT?!

164
00:05:55,132 --> 00:05:55,966
[DON] WHAT WAS WHAT?

165
00:05:56,717 --> 00:05:56,884
[ROGER] I DON'T REMEMBER THAT

166
00:05:57,468 --> 00:05:58,343
LAST PART HAPPENING.

167
00:05:58,969 --> 00:05:59,303
[DON] WHAT LAST PART?

168
00:06:00,053 --> 00:06:00,094
[ROGER] YOU WERE BREAST FEEDING

169
00:06:00,095 --> 00:06:03,015
ME.

170
00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:05,434
OBVIOUSLY JUST REALLY NERVOUS.

171
00:06:06,226 --> 00:06:06,768
[ROGER] YOU PUT MY MOUTH ON YOUR

172
00:06:07,394 --> 00:06:08,437
NIPPLE AND YOU WERE BRE--

173
00:06:09,146 --> 00:06:09,188
YOU WERE BREAST FEEDING ME.

174
00:06:09,438 --> 00:06:09,480
[DON] ROGER, YOU'RE JUST

175
00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:11,773
FREAKING OUT OVER YOUR WEDDING.

176
00:06:12,399 --> 00:06:16,487
OKAY? JUST TAKE A BREATH.

177
00:06:17,196 --> 00:06:17,237
[DON] DO YOU REMEMBER HOW

178
00:06:17,571 --> 00:06:20,491
NERVOUS I WAS BEFORE MY WEDDING?

179
00:06:21,158 --> 00:06:23,202
[ROGER] YEAH.

180
00:06:25,037 --> 00:06:27,331
[■■]

181
00:06:27,789 --> 00:06:28,332
[DON] ROGER?

182
00:06:28,874 --> 00:06:30,292
[ROGER] YEAH, DON?

183
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:31,502
[DON] I JUST, I WANNA THANK YOU

184
00:06:32,294 --> 00:06:34,963
FOR BEING MY BEST MAN.

185
00:06:35,672 --> 00:06:35,714
[ROGER] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT,

186
00:06:35,923 --> 00:06:38,133
MAN. I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT MY BACK

187
00:06:38,675 --> 00:06:39,510
AND I'VE GOT YOURS.

188
00:06:40,052 --> 00:06:40,719
[DON] YEAH.

189
00:06:41,470 --> 00:06:41,803
[ROGER] REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN

190
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:42,554
WE WERE STUDYING FOR THAT

191
00:06:43,013 --> 00:06:44,389
SCIENCE TEST?

192
00:06:45,098 --> 00:06:45,140
AND WE'D FAIL SO WE GOT A

193
00:06:45,599 --> 00:06:46,517
CHEAT SHEET.

194
00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:49,019
AND WE GOT CAUGHT.

195
00:06:49,603 --> 00:06:49,644
AND THAT'S THE WAY--

196
00:06:49,645 --> 00:06:50,479
[ROGER] (SUCKING)

197
00:06:51,104 --> 00:06:51,230
[ROGER] WHY WERE YOU

198
00:06:51,855 --> 00:06:53,565
BREAST FEEDING ME AGAIN?!

199
00:06:54,191 --> 00:06:54,233
[ROGER] WHY IS YOUR SHIRT

200
00:06:54,608 --> 00:06:56,443
UNDONE?!

201
00:06:57,236 --> 00:06:57,276
[ROGER] WHY IS THERE MILK ON MY

202
00:06:57,277 --> 00:06:58,529
FACE?!

203
00:06:59,446 --> 00:06:59,530
[ROGER] WERE YOU BREAST FEEDING

204
00:07:00,197 --> 00:07:01,031
ME DURING THE FLASHBACK?!

205
00:07:01,782 --> 00:07:01,823
[DON] I'VE BEEN BREAST FEEDING

206
00:07:02,115 --> 00:07:02,616
YOU FOR YEARS.

207
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:03,325
[ROGER] NO!

208
00:07:03,992 --> 00:07:04,034
[DON] IN FACT, I'M BREAST

209
00:07:04,326 --> 00:07:04,868
FEEDING YOU RIGHT NOW.

210
00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:06,036
[ROGER] (SUCKING)

211
00:07:06,453 --> 00:07:07,538
(SCREAMING)

212
00:07:09,248 --> 00:07:15,087
[■■]

213
00:07:35,899 --> 00:07:39,570
[■■]

214
00:07:40,445 --> 00:07:40,571
[MARK] HI EVERYONE. SO I WENT

215
00:07:41,446 --> 00:07:42,072
OVER TO ALPHONSO'S HOUSE

216
00:07:42,739 --> 00:07:43,574
(THE GUY WHO'S SUPPOSED TO

217
00:07:44,283 --> 00:07:45,576
MURDER ME IN THE FUTURE)

218
00:07:46,368 --> 00:07:47,077
AND I TALKED TO HIM AND IT

219
00:07:47,828 --> 00:07:47,911
TURNS OUT THAT HE'D NEVER EVEN

220
00:07:48,495 --> 00:07:49,580
HEARD OF PICNICFACE.

221
00:07:50,414 --> 00:07:50,622
SO WE HAD THIS GREAT CHAT,

222
00:07:51,373 --> 00:07:52,291
I SHOWED HIM SOME OF OUR VIDEOS.

223
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,042
TURNS OUT I'M HIS FAVOURITE,

224
00:07:54,459 --> 00:07:54,960
AND, YEAH.

225
00:07:55,586 --> 00:07:55,711
SO EVERYTHING IS GOOD.

226
00:07:56,378 --> 00:07:58,672
HE'S-- WE'RE BUDDIES NOW.

227
00:07:59,423 --> 00:07:59,590
[ANDREW] YOU REALIZE YOU CREATED

228
00:08:00,465 --> 00:08:03,635
YOUR OWN STALKER, RIGHT?

229
00:08:04,219 --> 00:08:04,261
[MARK] NO I DIDN'T.

230
00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:05,762
I CREATED A FRIEND.

231
00:08:06,471 --> 00:08:06,597
[BILL] IF YOU'RE GONNA GET

232
00:08:07,306 --> 00:08:07,889
MURDERED, IT'S NICE TO BE

233
00:08:08,432 --> 00:08:09,182
MURDERED FOR LOVE.

234
00:08:09,850 --> 00:08:09,891
[MARK] I'M NOT GONNA GET

235
00:08:10,142 --> 00:08:10,434
MURDERED.

236
00:08:10,934 --> 00:08:12,853
(PHONE BEEPS)

237
00:08:13,437 --> 00:08:13,729
[ANDREW] WHO'S THAT?

238
00:08:14,313 --> 00:08:15,355
[MARK] THAT'S NO ONE.

239
00:08:15,981 --> 00:08:17,024
IT'S MY FRIEND CHEVON.

240
00:08:17,524 --> 00:08:17,608
[ANDREW] CHEVON?

241
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,151
[BILL] WHO'S CHEVON?

242
00:08:19,901 --> 00:08:19,943
[ANDREW] YEAH, CHEVON'S A REAL

243
00:08:20,152 --> 00:08:20,193
NAME.

244
00:08:20,861 --> 00:08:21,987
[MARK] OKAY, IT'S ALPHONSO.

245
00:08:22,446 --> 00:08:22,738
YOU GENIUSES.

246
00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:23,822
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, OKAY?

247
00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:24,615
HE'S A STALKER.

248
00:08:25,157 --> 00:08:25,616
IT'S OFFICIAL.

249
00:08:26,116 --> 00:08:26,617
SH---.

250
00:08:27,492 --> 00:08:27,534
[ANDREW] WELL THERE'S LIKE EIGHT

251
00:08:27,868 --> 00:08:29,286
MISSED CALLS THERE.

252
00:08:29,995 --> 00:08:31,288
AND WHAT IS-- WHAT IS THAT?

253
00:08:31,955 --> 00:08:31,997
[MARK] IT'S A PICTURE OF ME

254
00:08:32,205 --> 00:08:32,623
SLEEPING.

255
00:08:33,206 --> 00:08:34,166
[ANDREW] OKAY.

256
00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:35,626
[ANDREW] HE PUT CLOTHES ON YOU.

257
00:08:36,418 --> 00:08:36,459
[BILL] YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA GET

258
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:36,627
MURDERED.

259
00:08:37,502 --> 00:08:37,544
[ANDREW] YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA

260
00:08:37,753 --> 00:08:37,878
GET MURDERED.

261
00:08:38,629 --> 00:08:39,546
[MARK] SHUT THE F--- UP, BILL.

262
00:08:40,047 --> 00:08:40,088
[BILL] SORRY!

263
00:08:40,756 --> 00:08:40,839
[BILL] YOU KNOW, I COULD

264
00:08:41,465 --> 00:08:41,757
HYPNOTIZE ALPHONSO INTO

265
00:08:42,507 --> 00:08:42,883
FORGETTING ALL ABOUT YOU IF YOU

266
00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:44,009
WANT.

267
00:08:44,718 --> 00:08:44,760
[MARK] SINCE WHEN DO YOU KNOW

268
00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:45,636
HYPNOSIS?

269
00:08:46,637 --> 00:08:47,554
HYPNOSIS. I HYPNOTIZED

270
00:08:48,347 --> 00:08:48,805
EVERYONE INTO THINKING I'M 5'6

271
00:08:49,389 --> 00:08:50,474
AND HAVE RED HAIR.

272
00:08:51,183 --> 00:08:51,224
[ANDREW] YOU ARE 5'6 AND HAVE

273
00:08:51,475 --> 00:08:52,851
RED HAIR.

274
00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:54,227
[BILL] I RELEASE YOU.

275
00:08:54,603 --> 00:08:56,647
(SNAP)

276
00:08:57,356 --> 00:08:57,606
[ANDREW] OH MY GOD!

277
00:08:58,023 --> 00:08:58,065
(SNAP)

278
00:08:58,607 --> 00:08:59,066
[ANDREW] OH MY GOD!

279
00:08:59,399 --> 00:09:00,651
OKAY.

280
00:09:01,485 --> 00:09:03,487
ALRIGHT, BILL, FOR A SECOND YOU

281
00:09:03,904 --> 00:09:04,279
WERE A...

282
00:09:04,863 --> 00:09:09,117
[BILL] I WAS A WHAT?

283
00:09:09,785 --> 00:09:09,868
[ANDREW] I CAN'T REMEMBER.

284
00:09:10,452 --> 00:09:10,661
[MARK] (PHONE BEEPS)

285
00:09:11,453 --> 00:09:11,495
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

286
00:09:11,662 --> 00:09:12,496
SOMETHING.

287
00:09:12,871 --> 00:09:13,914
OH NO.

288
00:09:14,665 --> 00:09:14,706
[ANDREW] OH YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA

289
00:09:15,499 --> 00:09:19,670
[■■]

290
00:09:20,504 --> 00:09:20,671
[NARRATOR] HAVE A GREAT PRODUCT

291
00:09:21,254 --> 00:09:21,672
TO SELL?

292
00:09:22,464 --> 00:09:22,673
TIRED OF YOUR INFOMERCIAL

293
00:09:23,632 --> 00:09:24,466
ACTORS DOING AN UNCONVINCING

294
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:25,634
JOB?

295
00:09:26,301 --> 00:09:27,302
CALL "INFOMERCIAL PLUS"

296
00:09:28,011 --> 00:09:28,178
AND WE'LL SET YOU UP WITH AN

297
00:09:28,929 --> 00:09:30,472
ACTOR WHO IS GENUINELY UNABLE

298
00:09:31,181 --> 00:09:31,723
TO COMPLETE EVEN THE SIMPLEST

299
00:09:32,474 --> 00:09:33,100
TASKS. LIKE, THE MAN WHO CAN'T

300
00:09:33,558 --> 00:09:34,559
CRACK AN EGG.

301
00:09:35,102 --> 00:09:35,686
[MARK] (LAUGHS)

302
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:36,645
[NARRATOR] THE WOMAN WHO

303
00:09:37,354 --> 00:09:38,230
STRUGGLES WITH BLANKETS.

304
00:09:38,939 --> 00:09:39,523
THE MAN WHO IS UNABLE TO CUT

305
00:09:40,065 --> 00:09:40,357
THIS MUCH FRUIT.

306
00:09:41,108 --> 00:09:41,149
[SCOTT] I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

307
00:09:41,650 --> 00:09:41,733
WE'VE GOT BANANAS,

308
00:09:42,275 --> 00:09:43,110
WE'VE GOT ORANGES.

309
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:44,653
WHY DO YOU NEED TWO DIFFERENT

310
00:09:45,070 --> 00:09:45,612
APPLES?!

311
00:09:46,405 --> 00:09:46,655
[NARRATOR] CALL NOW AND CHOOSE

312
00:09:47,447 --> 00:09:48,323
FROM OUT EXTENSIVE CATALOGUE OF

313
00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:49,991
TRULY INCOMPETENT ACTORS.

314
00:09:50,701 --> 00:09:51,243
LIKE, THE MAN WHO CAN'T START

315
00:09:51,702 --> 00:09:51,743
A LAWN MOWER.

316
00:09:52,536 --> 00:09:52,577
THE GUY WHO CAN'T STOP

317
00:09:52,953 --> 00:09:52,994
BLEEDING.

318
00:09:53,704 --> 00:09:53,995
THE OLD MAN WHO NEVER PUTS A

319
00:09:54,579 --> 00:09:54,705
LID ON HIS BLENDER.

320
00:09:55,664 --> 00:09:55,706
THE WOMAN WHO CAN'T HANDLE ALL

321
00:09:56,331 --> 00:09:56,707
THIS FLOUR.

322
00:09:57,416 --> 00:09:57,708
THE PERSON WHO'S CONSTANTLY

323
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:58,291
AMAZED.

324
00:09:58,875 --> 00:09:59,126
THE GUY THAT'S DEAD.

325
00:09:59,751 --> 00:10:00,460
THE KID THAT SPILLS ALL

326
00:10:01,211 --> 00:10:01,503
ALLERGY BOY.

327
00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:02,421
THE MAN WITH THE STINKIEST

328
00:10:03,046 --> 00:10:03,714
APARTMENT IN THE WORLD.

329
00:10:04,631 --> 00:10:04,798
THE GUY THAT CAN'T GRASP HOSES.

330
00:10:05,549 --> 00:10:06,258
THE MAN WHO CAN'T GROW GRASS.

331
00:10:07,008 --> 00:10:07,634
THE GIRL WITH CONSTANT FREEZER

332
00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:08,051
BURN.

333
00:10:08,677 --> 00:10:08,719
THE FAMILY THAT HASN'T FOUND

334
00:10:09,553 --> 00:10:10,095
THEIR TV REMOTE IN 16 YEARS.

335
00:10:10,846 --> 00:10:10,887
THE LADY WITH A FRIDGE FULL OF

336
00:10:11,388 --> 00:10:11,430
AIRTIGHT JARS.

337
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:12,139
THE WOMAN WITH THE FESTERING

338
00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:12,723
SEAT BELT WOUND.

339
00:10:13,598 --> 00:10:13,640
THE MAN WHO LITERALLY CAN'T

340
00:10:14,182 --> 00:10:14,558
FIND ANYTHING, EVER.

341
00:10:15,267 --> 00:10:15,308
THE WOMAN WHO LITERALLY CAN'T

342
00:10:15,809 --> 00:10:15,976
REACH ANYTHING, EVER.

343
00:10:16,685 --> 00:10:17,185
THE MAN WHO'S DOG'S SH--- IS

344
00:10:17,602 --> 00:10:17,728
EVERYWHERE.

345
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:18,729
THE WOMAN WITH ACTUAL

346
00:10:19,312 --> 00:10:19,354
ALCOHOLISM.

347
00:10:20,105 --> 00:10:20,272
THE MAN WHO HAS NEVER SUNK A

348
00:10:20,939 --> 00:10:21,314
PUTT IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

349
00:10:22,023 --> 00:10:22,649
A SAD WOMAN WITH REAL FAT ALL

350
00:10:23,316 --> 00:10:24,276
OVER HER BODY AND FACE.

351
00:10:25,026 --> 00:10:25,193
[NARRATOR] THESE AREN'T YOUR

352
00:10:25,861 --> 00:10:26,737
AVERAGE INFOMERCIAL ACTORS.

353
00:10:27,487 --> 00:10:28,321
THESE PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY

354
00:10:28,739 --> 00:10:28,780
CHALLENGED.

355
00:10:29,364 --> 00:10:32,325
[MARK] OW.

356
00:10:32,659 --> 00:10:33,118
(BANG)

357
00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:34,661
OW!

358
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,913
I'M SORRY.

359
00:10:37,414 --> 00:10:37,581
[EVANY] (GRUNT)

360
00:10:37,956 --> 00:10:38,915
(THUD)

361
00:10:39,541 --> 00:10:39,875
[SCOTT] WHAT IS THIS?!

362
00:10:40,584 --> 00:10:40,625
[DIRECTOR] CHRIS, CALM DOWN.

363
00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:42,002
[SCOTT] IT'S LIKE A PASTEL

364
00:10:42,753 --> 00:10:43,754
ORANGE! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT

365
00:10:44,296 --> 00:10:44,755
THIS IS!

366
00:10:45,672 --> 00:10:45,714
[DIRECTOR] IT'S A GRAPEFRUIT,

367
00:10:45,839 --> 00:10:46,006
CHRIS.

368
00:10:46,757 --> 00:10:47,132
[NARRATOR] SO CALL INFOMERCIAL

369
00:10:47,883 --> 00:10:49,217
PLUS TODAY AND ADD SOME PLUS TO

370
00:10:49,718 --> 00:10:52,429
YOUR INFOMERCIAL.

371
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:55,557
[MARK] JUST THE MAGIC OF EGGS.

372
00:10:55,849 --> 00:10:56,349
F---.

373
00:10:57,017 --> 00:10:57,058
[DIRECTOR] JUST DROP ONE OF

374
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:57,684
THOSE FRUIT.

375
00:10:58,143 --> 00:10:59,352
JUST ONE.

376
00:10:59,895 --> 00:11:00,312
NOW JUST DROP IT--

377
00:11:00,979 --> 00:11:03,607
[SCOTT] THIS IS TOO HARD!

378
00:11:04,357 --> 00:11:04,608
[DIRECTOR] NO-- WHA-- DON'T!

379
00:11:05,150 --> 00:11:05,525
[SCOTT] F--- YOU.

380
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:06,067
F--- YOU.

381
00:11:07,652 --> 00:11:13,784
[■■]

382
00:11:14,743 --> 00:11:14,785
[BILL] YOU READY TO PRANK THIS

383
00:11:15,202 --> 00:11:15,410
GUY?

384
00:11:15,869 --> 00:11:16,787
[CHERYL] YEAH.

385
00:11:17,412 --> 00:11:18,622
(KNOCKING)

386
00:11:28,507 --> 00:11:30,634
[KYLE] THE DOOR WAS KNOCKED,

387
00:11:31,259 --> 00:11:32,135
AND YET NOBODY'S HERE.

388
00:11:32,552 --> 00:11:36,848
HOW ODD.

389
00:11:37,557 --> 00:11:38,809
[DEB] WAS THERE NO ONE HERE?

390
00:11:39,434 --> 00:11:40,852
[KYLE] NOBODY.

391
00:11:41,478 --> 00:11:43,647
WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY?

392
00:11:44,397 --> 00:11:46,691
FIRST SUPPER AND NOW THIS.

393
00:11:47,192 --> 00:11:47,818
[DEB] SUPPER?

394
00:11:48,443 --> 00:11:49,569
[KYLE] THE POT ROAST.

395
00:11:50,111 --> 00:11:51,029
IT WAS BONE DRY.

396
00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:51,822
[DEB] I'M SORRY.

397
00:11:52,739 --> 00:11:52,823
[KYLE] SORRY DOESN'T MOISTEN

398
00:11:54,282 --> 00:11:56,827
[■■]

399
00:11:57,661 --> 00:11:57,702
[KYLE] SHOW YOURSELVES,

400
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,751
[■■]

401
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:07,003
(KNOCKING)

402
00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:07,712
[KYLE] WELL CLEARLY THEY'VE

403
00:12:08,338 --> 00:12:09,714
RETURNED TO APOLOGIZE.

404
00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:10,882
[KYLE] I GET IT NOW--

405
00:12:11,341 --> 00:12:15,637
WAIT A! WHA!

406
00:12:17,013 --> 00:12:20,392
[■■]

407
00:12:21,101 --> 00:12:21,142
[DEB] YOU KNOW, IF YOU IGNORE

408
00:12:21,434 --> 00:12:22,686
THEM THEY'LL STOP.

409
00:12:23,436 --> 00:12:23,520
[KYLE] GIVE ME ROOM TO THINK,

410
00:12:23,854 --> 00:12:26,523
DEB!

411
00:12:27,274 --> 00:12:29,693
SHOW YOURSELVES, PRANKSTERS.

412
00:12:30,402 --> 00:12:31,236
[KYLE] I'LL FIND YOU, TEENS.

413
00:12:47,919 --> 00:12:47,961
[DEB] PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T

414
00:12:48,628 --> 00:12:49,254
USE OUR LAST WISH.

415
00:12:50,005 --> 00:12:50,130
[KYLE] I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT.

416
00:12:50,881 --> 00:12:50,922
[DEB] THE ONE WE WERE SAVING TO

417
00:12:51,339 --> 00:12:52,757
WISH OUR INVALID SON OUT OF HIS

418
00:12:53,216 --> 00:12:53,466
WHEELCHAIR?

419
00:12:54,175 --> 00:12:54,217
[KYLE] I USED IT TO FIND THE

420
00:12:54,718 --> 00:12:56,511
IDENTITY OF THE PRANKSTERS.

421
00:12:57,262 --> 00:12:57,304
[DEB] WAS IT THOSE TEENS RIGHT

422
00:12:57,679 --> 00:12:58,889
THERE IN THE GARDEN?

423
00:12:59,806 --> 00:12:59,890
[KYLE] YES. THE GENIE ALREADY

424
00:13:00,682 --> 00:13:01,016
POINTED THAT OUT, THANKS DEB.

425
00:13:01,766 --> 00:13:01,808
[DEB] OH, HE'S ALREADY POINTED

426
00:13:02,017 --> 00:13:02,100
THAT OUT?

427
00:13:02,851 --> 00:13:03,643
[GENIE] THEY WERE HIDING BEHIND

428
00:13:04,311 --> 00:13:05,896
A BUSH NEXT TO THE STOOP.

429
00:13:06,688 --> 00:13:07,063
SORT OF HARD TO SEE IF YOU WERE

430
00:13:07,647 --> 00:13:07,898
JUST STANDING THERE.

431
00:13:08,773 --> 00:13:09,274
[DEB] IT'S A GOOD USE OF MAGIC.

432
00:13:10,025 --> 00:13:10,191
[GENIE] I TRIED TO TELL HIM NOT

433
00:13:10,817 --> 00:13:11,693
TO USE THE WISH ON THAT

434
00:13:12,235 --> 00:13:12,736
PARTICULAR REQUEST.

435
00:13:13,528 --> 00:13:13,570
[DEB] OH, LIKE YOU TRIED TO TELL

436
00:13:14,112 --> 00:13:14,195
HIM NOT TO WASTE OUR FIRST TWO

437
00:13:14,696 --> 00:13:16,907
WISHES ON THAT?

438
00:13:17,782 --> 00:13:17,824
[KYLE] COME ON DEB, I WISHED

439
00:13:18,158 --> 00:13:18,950
MYSELF A NICE CAT PAINTING,

440
00:13:19,659 --> 00:13:19,951
AND I NEEDED THE SECOND WISH

441
00:13:20,535 --> 00:13:22,579
TO MAKE THEM SEXY.

442
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:23,371
[DEB] THIS WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO

443
00:13:23,788 --> 00:13:24,456
YOU THAN OUR CRIPPLED SON?

444
00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:25,248
[KYLE] COME ON DEB! HE GETS HIS

445
00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:26,583
LEGS BACK, HE'S GONNA BE RUNNING

446
00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:28,001
AROUND TOWN, USING AND ABUSING

447
00:13:28,710 --> 00:13:29,711
DRUGS AND PUTTING HIMSELF IN

448
00:13:30,086 --> 00:13:30,253
WOMEN.

449
00:13:30,754 --> 00:13:31,004
[DEB] HOLY SH---.

450
00:13:31,671 --> 00:13:31,838
[KYLE] DEB, THIS IS GREAT!

451
00:13:32,631 --> 00:13:32,672
NOW THAT WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE,

452
00:13:33,298 --> 00:13:33,840
WE CAN PRANK THEM BACK!

453
00:13:34,299 --> 00:13:34,341
[DEB] WHAT?

454
00:13:34,966 --> 00:13:35,008
[KYLE] DEB, COME ON, QUICK!

455
00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:35,884
GO SH--- IN A BAG.

456
00:13:36,676 --> 00:13:36,718
WE'LL FIND OUT WHERE THEY LIVE.

457
00:13:37,344 --> 00:13:37,594
I'LL GET A BOOK OF MATCHES.

458
00:13:38,762 --> 00:13:38,929
SH--- IN A BAG!

459
00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:39,721
[KYLE] COME ON DEB.

460
00:13:40,055 --> 00:13:40,263
WHEN YOU SAID TO

461
00:13:40,889 --> 00:13:41,097
"LOVE AND TO CHERISH",

462
00:13:41,765 --> 00:13:42,182
WHAT YOU REALLY MEANT WAS,

463
00:13:42,807 --> 00:13:44,768
"I WILL SH--- IN A BAG

464
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:46,186
WHEN THE SITUATION DEMANDS IT!"

465
00:13:46,937 --> 00:13:46,978
[DEB] OKAY, THAT IS NOWHERE IN

466
00:13:47,354 --> 00:13:47,771
OUR VOWS.

467
00:13:48,355 --> 00:13:48,772
[KYLE] JUST PLEASE!

468
00:13:49,356 --> 00:13:49,439
GRAB A BRAN MUFFIN

469
00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:50,941
AND SOME WATER, LET'S DO THIS!

470
00:13:51,691 --> 00:13:51,733
[DEB] I'M NOT... (INAUDIBLE)

471
00:13:52,108 --> 00:13:52,817
[KYLE] THE LAMP!

472
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,319
[CHERYL] WHOA!

473
00:13:54,903 --> 00:13:54,986
[BILL] A MAGIC LAMP!

474
00:13:55,612 --> 00:13:56,947
[CHERYL] GIVE ME THAT.

475
00:13:57,364 --> 00:13:59,783
OH WOW.

476
00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:00,659
(GASPS)

477
00:14:01,076 --> 00:14:02,118
[BILL] WOW!

478
00:14:02,827 --> 00:14:03,370
[GENIE] I AM THE GENIE OF THE

479
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,455
LAMP. SINCE YOU'VE FREED ME I

480
00:14:06,164 --> 00:14:07,499
SHALL GRANT YOU THREE WISHES.

481
00:14:08,208 --> 00:14:08,500
[CHERYL] WE WISH TO HAVE AN

482
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:09,918
INVISIBLE MAN KNOCK ON THIS

483
00:14:10,543 --> 00:14:12,128
DUMMY'S DOOR FOREVER.

484
00:14:12,545 --> 00:14:13,213
(LAUGHING)

485
00:14:13,755 --> 00:14:15,590
[GENIE] GRANTED!

486
00:14:16,007 --> 00:14:16,800
(KNOCKING)

487
00:14:17,342 --> 00:14:17,676
[KYLE] (SHOUTING)

488
00:14:18,093 --> 00:14:19,302
(KNOCKING)

489
00:14:19,886 --> 00:14:20,136
[KYLE] GREAT SNAKES!

490
00:14:20,553 --> 00:14:21,012
(KNOCKING)

491
00:14:21,596 --> 00:14:22,222
[KYLE] WHERE ARE YOU?

492
00:14:22,806 --> 00:14:23,223
YOU SNEAKY TITTIES!

493
00:14:23,974 --> 00:14:25,266
[BRIAN] DAD, I FINISHED CLEANING

494
00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:26,601
OUT THE GARAGE.

495
00:14:57,382 --> 00:15:01,011
[■■]

496
00:15:01,886 --> 00:15:01,927
[EVANY] ARE THERE ANY FOR ME IN

497
00:15:01,928 --> 00:15:02,887
THERE, CHERYL?

498
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:04,222
[EVANY] I GO ON A COKE RAMPAGE

499
00:15:04,597 --> 00:15:06,683
IN 2014?

500
00:15:07,267 --> 00:15:07,851
I DON'T EVEN DO COKE.

501
00:15:08,601 --> 00:15:10,228
[CHERYL] IT'S FROM YOURSELF.

502
00:15:10,729 --> 00:15:13,523
[EVANY] OKAY...

503
00:15:14,274 --> 00:15:17,485
IT SAYS, "LET THE GAMES BEGIN."

504
00:15:17,819 --> 00:15:18,361
OH WOW.

505
00:15:18,987 --> 00:15:21,656
THAT'S... IS THIS COKE?

506
00:15:22,407 --> 00:15:22,449
[KYLE] OH MAN, I CAN'T EVEN FEEL

507
00:15:22,907 --> 00:15:23,199
MY FACE RIGHT NOW.

508
00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:24,909
THAT'S REALLY GOOD COKE.

509
00:15:25,577 --> 00:15:25,827
I KNOW IT'S SPRINGTIME,

510
00:15:26,578 --> 00:15:26,703
BUT I'D SAY THAT FORECAST CALLS

511
00:15:27,328 --> 00:15:28,329
FOR A BLIZZARD TONIGHT.

512
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:29,581
[KYLE] HIGH CHANCE OF FLURRIES.

513
00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:30,415
[EVANY] I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

514
00:15:31,124 --> 00:15:31,207
[KYLE] A BIT OF A SNOWSTORM.

515
00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:32,042
[EVANY] I DON'T GET IT.

516
00:15:33,376 --> 00:15:33,752
COCAINE.

517
00:15:34,169 --> 00:15:34,711
[EVANY] OH!

518
00:15:35,462 --> 00:15:35,628
[EVANY] HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING

519
00:15:36,046 --> 00:15:36,880
WITH THAT?

520
00:15:37,672 --> 00:15:38,048
[MARK] I JUST GOT A NOTE FROM

521
00:15:38,757 --> 00:15:39,090
MYSELF IN THE FUTURE SAYING

522
00:15:39,799 --> 00:15:40,050
I NEED THIS FOR A PLOT TWIST

523
00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:41,051
LATER.

524
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,803
[EVANY] WHAT?!

525
00:15:44,387 --> 00:15:44,804
[KYLE] "KYLE DOOLEY,

526
00:15:45,388 --> 00:15:46,431
PLEASE HAVE MY BABY."

527
00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:47,140
[CHERYL] OH!

528
00:15:47,599 --> 00:15:48,892
[KYLE] NICE.

529
00:15:49,601 --> 00:15:50,060
HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

530
00:15:53,021 --> 00:15:54,147
[■■]

531
00:15:54,814 --> 00:15:55,774
[BILL] ONE NIGHT, I DREAMED

532
00:15:56,441 --> 00:15:56,941
I WAS WALKING ALONG A BEACH

533
00:15:57,734 --> 00:15:59,319
WITH THE LORD. AS WE WALKED,

534
00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:00,195
I NOTICED FOOTPRINTS IN THE

535
00:16:00,945 --> 00:16:03,031
SAND. SOMETIMES, THERE WERE TWO

536
00:16:03,782 --> 00:16:05,241
SETS OF PRINTS. OTHER TIMES,

537
00:16:05,658 --> 00:16:07,077
ONLY ONE.

538
00:16:07,952 --> 00:16:07,994
FURTHER BACK ON THE BEACH,

539
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:09,329
I NOTICED A WHOLE CROWD OF

540
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,039
PRINTS, AS IF A HUGE GROUP HAD

541
00:16:11,706 --> 00:16:13,833
WALKED WITH JESUS AND I.

542
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:15,376
CONFUSED, I SAID,

543
00:16:16,127 --> 00:16:17,921
"LORD, WHO MADE THOSE PRINTS?"

544
00:16:18,546 --> 00:16:18,588
[BILL] (AS JESUS) "WHAT?

545
00:16:19,005 --> 00:16:20,423
NOBODY. HA HA HA HA."

546
00:16:21,049 --> 00:16:21,091
[BILL] THE LORD LAUGHED

547
00:16:21,674 --> 00:16:23,093
AWKWARDLY.

548
00:16:23,843 --> 00:16:24,094
[BILL] "SERIOUSLY, JESUS."

549
00:16:24,719 --> 00:16:25,762
I INSISTED.

550
00:16:26,513 --> 00:16:27,931
"WHO JOINED US ON OUR WALK?"

551
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:29,933
SHEEPISHLY, THE LORD CAME

552
00:16:30,266 --> 00:16:30,558
CLEAN.

553
00:16:31,059 --> 00:16:31,476
[BILL] (AS JESUS)

554
00:16:32,102 --> 00:16:34,062
"MY CHILD, AS WE WALKED

555
00:16:34,854 --> 00:16:35,688
I BECAME BORED OF YOUR BANAL

556
00:16:36,439 --> 00:16:37,857
RAMBLINGS. CURIOUS TO SEE IF YOU

557
00:16:38,566 --> 00:16:39,400
COULD EVER BE INTERESTING,

558
00:16:40,151 --> 00:16:40,944
I SUMMOND DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF

559
00:16:41,694 --> 00:16:43,113
YOU, FROM ALTERNATE UNIVERSES.

560
00:16:43,780 --> 00:16:45,073
WHY, THERE WAS BIRD-YOU

561
00:16:45,573 --> 00:16:45,824
AND FISH-YOU,

562
00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:47,492
AND YOU WITH ZIPPERS FOR EYES

563
00:16:48,243 --> 00:16:49,285
AND A BUTTON FLY FOR A MOUTH.

564
00:16:50,036 --> 00:16:51,579
AND THEY WERE ALL DEAD BORING.

565
00:16:52,163 --> 00:16:52,831
TO LIVEN THINGS UP,

566
00:16:53,456 --> 00:16:54,124
I CONVINCED GORILLA-YOU

567
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:55,583
TO SLEEP WITH LADY-YOU.

568
00:16:56,251 --> 00:16:56,543
YOU-YOU FOUND THIS QUITE

569
00:16:57,293 --> 00:16:58,419
DISTURBING. SO I TURNED YOU INTO

570
00:16:59,045 --> 00:17:00,421
A HAT AND I WORE YOU."

571
00:17:01,047 --> 00:17:02,173
[BILL] SHAKEN, I CRIED,

572
00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:04,134
"JESUS, YOU SAID IF I WALKED

573
00:17:04,968 --> 00:17:05,260
WITH YOU, YOU'D NEVER FORSAKE

574
00:17:05,593 --> 00:17:05,969
ME."

575
00:17:06,511 --> 00:17:06,719
[BILL] (AS JESUS)

576
00:17:07,345 --> 00:17:08,221
"FORSAKE YOU, MY SON?"

577
00:17:08,805 --> 00:17:09,139
[BILL] GASPED JESUS.

578
00:17:09,764 --> 00:17:09,806
[BILL] (AS JESUS)

579
00:17:10,181 --> 00:17:12,142
"NO, I SAVED YOU.

580
00:17:12,892 --> 00:17:13,309
WHEN NAZI-YOU TRIED TO TAKE

581
00:17:13,893 --> 00:17:14,352
OVER THE BEACH, AND

582
00:17:15,019 --> 00:17:16,312
ANNEX-GAY-JEWISH-GYPSY-YOU,

583
00:17:16,896 --> 00:17:19,149
I SENT EVERYONE HOME.

584
00:17:19,858 --> 00:17:20,859
AND I WAS ALONE,

585
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,153
AND TRULY BORED.

586
00:17:23,903 --> 00:17:24,696
BUT THEN, I CAUGHT MY

587
00:17:25,405 --> 00:17:26,114
REFLECTION IN A PASSING WAVE

588
00:17:26,656 --> 00:17:27,448
AND I LAUGHED.

589
00:17:28,199 --> 00:17:29,159
I FORGOT, YOU WERE STILL WITH

590
00:17:30,034 --> 00:17:31,494
ME ON MY HEAD AS THE MOST

591
00:17:32,078 --> 00:17:33,746
INTERESTING OF HATS:

592
00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:35,665
A WOVEN, STRAW BERET,

593
00:17:36,374 --> 00:17:37,167
WITH A NECK-FLAP LIKE A CLOTH

594
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:38,168
MULLET.

595
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,253
OH MY SON, I COULD NEVER

596
00:17:40,712 --> 00:17:41,504
FORSAKE YOU.

597
00:17:45,258 --> 00:17:48,219
[■■]

598
00:18:10,783 --> 00:18:11,784
[ANDREW] NO COFFEE?

599
00:18:12,535 --> 00:18:15,205
OH, HOW AM I GOING TO WAKE UP?

600
00:18:16,873 --> 00:18:20,877
[■■]

601
00:18:21,878 --> 00:18:23,254
[■■]

602
00:18:52,116 --> 00:18:52,242
[■■]

603
00:18:53,034 --> 00:18:54,285
>>PREVIOUSLY ON PICNICFACE...

604
00:18:55,036 --> 00:18:55,119
[ANDREW] YOU REALIZE YOU CREATED

605
00:18:55,787 --> 00:18:56,621
YOUR OWN STALKER, RIGHT?

606
00:18:57,288 --> 00:18:57,330
[BILL] IF YOU'RE GONNA GET

607
00:18:57,956 --> 00:18:58,456
MURDERED, IT'S NICE TO BE

608
00:18:59,040 --> 00:18:59,791
MURDERED FOR LOVE.

609
00:19:00,458 --> 00:19:00,500
[ANDREW] MAYBE I'LL BE THE

610
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:03,378
POPULAR ONE NOW.

611
00:19:03,795 --> 00:19:04,504
[MARK] AH!

612
00:19:05,004 --> 00:19:06,089
[MARK] OH! BILL?

613
00:19:09,217 --> 00:19:12,512
[■■]

614
00:19:13,096 --> 00:19:13,888
[ALPHONSO] GUESS WHO?

615
00:19:14,472 --> 00:19:15,181
[MARK] UH, ALPHONSO?

616
00:19:15,890 --> 00:19:18,977
[ALPHONSO] BINGO! ALPHONSO!

617
00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:21,354
[MARK] OH... 'KAY.

618
00:19:22,105 --> 00:19:22,188
[ALPHONSO] SO, WHAT ARE YOU UP

619
00:19:22,522 --> 00:19:24,232
TO?

620
00:19:24,941 --> 00:19:25,358
[MARK] WAITING FOR THE BUS.

621
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:26,109
[ALPHONSO] AWESOME.

622
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:28,278
I LOVE BUSES.

623
00:19:28,987 --> 00:19:29,821
[MARK] OKAY, GOOD.

624
00:19:30,488 --> 00:19:30,530
ALRIGHT, THERE'S SOMETHING

625
00:19:31,072 --> 00:19:31,447
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT,

626
00:19:32,198 --> 00:19:32,407
AND I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE THIS

627
00:19:32,865 --> 00:19:33,157
THE WRONG WAY.

628
00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:34,284
[ALPHONSO] I'M GOING AS YOU FOR

629
00:19:34,867 --> 00:19:35,868
HALLOWEEN.

630
00:19:36,452 --> 00:19:37,287
[MARK] UH... YEAH.

631
00:19:38,246 --> 00:19:38,371
I SEE YOU ALREADY DID THE HAIR.

632
00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:39,289
[ALPHONSO] OH, YEAH.

633
00:19:39,956 --> 00:19:39,998
DO YOU LIKE IT?

634
00:19:40,456 --> 00:19:42,250
[MARK] UGH! DON'T TOUCH MINE.

635
00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:44,085
UM...

636
00:19:44,669 --> 00:19:46,629
YOU ARE STALKING ME.

637
00:19:47,171 --> 00:19:47,297
[ALPHONSO] (LAUGHS)

638
00:19:47,922 --> 00:19:48,464
I'M NOT STALKING YOU.

639
00:19:49,799 --> 00:19:49,841
[ALPHONSO] I'M JUST ANOTHER ONE

640
00:19:50,508 --> 00:19:53,094
OF YOUR WACKY TEENAGED FANS.

641
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,095
[MARK] HOW OLD ARE YOU?

642
00:19:54,637 --> 00:19:55,305
[ALPHONSO] I'M 15.

643
00:19:56,264 --> 00:19:56,764
[MARK] YOU'RE NOT, LIKE, 30?

644
00:19:57,307 --> 00:19:57,348
[ALPHONSO] (LAUGHS)

645
00:19:57,890 --> 00:19:58,891
NO, I'M 15.

646
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,143
GOD, I'LL BE DEAD BY THE TIME

647
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:01,853
I'M 30.

648
00:20:02,562 --> 00:20:03,021
BECAUSE I WILL HAVE FINISHED

649
00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:07,442
EVERYTHING I'M HERE TO DO.

650
00:20:07,984 --> 00:20:09,569
[MARK] OKAY. UM...

651
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,321
IT'S JUST YOU'VE GOT A VERY BIG

652
00:20:12,071 --> 00:20:12,697
BEARD FOR SOMEONE WHO IS--

653
00:20:13,448 --> 00:20:15,033
[ALPHONSO] MY DAD'S AMERICAN.

654
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:15,783
[MARK] HOW WOULD YOU FEEL

655
00:20:16,492 --> 00:20:18,161
IF I ASKED YOU TO PLEASE STOP

656
00:20:18,661 --> 00:20:20,330
STALKING ME?

657
00:20:20,913 --> 00:20:21,706
OKAY. HMM...

658
00:20:23,249 --> 00:20:23,333
YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR MOUTH?

659
00:20:24,292 --> 00:20:24,334
WHERE YOU'RE MOUTHING THE WORDS

660
00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:25,335
THAT I'M SAYING?

661
00:20:26,294 --> 00:20:26,336
YEAH. THAT THING RIGHT THERE.

662
00:20:27,128 --> 00:20:28,421
RIGHT THERE. RIGHT THERE.

663
00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:29,714
THAT'S A CREEPY THING.

664
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:31,174
YOU FRIGHTEN ME.

665
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:33,134
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

666
00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:34,385
[ALPHONSO] SORRY.

667
00:20:34,719 --> 00:20:36,346
SORRY.

668
00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:48,358
[MARK] (SIGHS)

669
00:20:48,733 --> 00:20:51,486
HEY!

670
00:20:52,236 --> 00:20:54,155
I'M SOR-- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

671
00:20:54,572 --> 00:20:56,866
I'M SORRY.

672
00:20:57,617 --> 00:20:58,242
THAT HALLOWEEN COSTUME MIGHT

673
00:20:58,785 --> 00:21:03,373
NEED A JACKET.

674
00:21:04,332 --> 00:21:05,375
THINK OF IT AS SORT OF A GOING

675
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,251
AWAY GIFT.

676
00:21:07,877 --> 00:21:09,796
GOING FAR, FAR AWAY.

677
00:21:10,546 --> 00:21:11,464
[ALPHONSO] AWESOME! THANK YOU.

678
00:21:12,131 --> 00:21:12,215
[MARK] ENJOY THE JACKET.

679
00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:13,383
(DOG BARKING)

680
00:21:14,050 --> 00:21:15,301
[COP] WHAT IS IT GIRL?

681
00:21:15,843 --> 00:21:16,219
[ALPHONSO] OH!

682
00:21:16,803 --> 00:21:17,387
OH HI DOGGIE. HI.

683
00:21:18,262 --> 00:21:18,304
[COP] SORRY. SHE DOESN'T USUALLY

684
00:21:18,846 --> 00:21:19,430
GET SO EXCITED UNLESS THERE ARE

685
00:21:19,889 --> 00:21:20,306
DRUGS AROUND.

686
00:21:20,973 --> 00:21:21,015
[ALPHONSO] THAT'S OKAY.

687
00:21:21,516 --> 00:21:21,891
[COP] BAILEY, SIT.

688
00:21:22,642 --> 00:21:22,809
[COP] SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT WHEN

689
00:21:23,518 --> 00:21:23,768
SHE REACTS I HAVE TO CHECK IT

690
00:21:24,102 --> 00:21:24,394
OUT.

691
00:21:25,103 --> 00:21:28,564
[ALPHONSO] SURE.

692
00:21:29,232 --> 00:21:29,482
[COP] OKAY, WHAT IS THIS?

693
00:21:30,233 --> 00:21:30,775
[ALPHONSO] OH, THAT'S NOT MINE.

694
00:21:31,275 --> 00:21:32,402
[COP] COCAINE.

695
00:21:33,027 --> 00:21:33,069
[ALPHONSO] MARK?

696
00:21:33,778 --> 00:21:35,405
[COP] YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

697
00:21:36,072 --> 00:21:36,531
[ALPHONSO] MARK!

698
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:37,407
[COP] YOU'RE GOING AWAY FOR A

699
00:21:38,116 --> 00:21:38,408
LONG TIME, BUDDY.

700
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:39,742
[ALPHONSO] MARK LITTLE,

701
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:43,579
I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!

702
00:21:44,247 --> 00:21:44,288
[MARK] SO IN THE END IT ALL

703
00:21:44,622 --> 00:21:45,415
WORKED OUT.

704
00:21:46,290 --> 00:21:46,332
[ANDREW] MARK, YOU PUT THAT GUY

705
00:21:46,958 --> 00:21:46,999
IN PRISON. DON'T YOU THINK HE'S

706
00:21:47,708 --> 00:21:48,418
GOING TO BE A LITTLE BIT ANGRY?

707
00:21:49,252 --> 00:21:49,293
[MARK] OH, HE'LL BE IN THERE FOR

708
00:21:49,502 --> 00:21:49,710
YEARS.

709
00:21:50,169 --> 00:21:50,420
[BRIAN] SHH!

710
00:21:51,170 --> 00:21:52,422
THE BABY'S SLEEPING.

711
00:21:53,381 --> 00:21:53,756
[BILL] HOW'RE YOU DOING, KYLE?

712
00:21:54,257 --> 00:21:55,341
[KYLE] I'M GREAT.

713
00:21:56,509 --> 00:21:57,427
ACTUALLY HAD THAT GIRL'S BABY.

714
00:21:58,261 --> 00:21:58,302
[KYLE] WELL, IT IS THE FUTURE,

715
00:21:58,636 --> 00:21:59,554
CHERYL.

716
00:22:00,138 --> 00:22:01,848
[BILL] I GUESS IT IS.

717
00:22:02,473 --> 00:22:03,433
[BILL] WHO'S THE FUTURE?

718
00:22:04,142 --> 00:22:05,435
WHO'S THE FUTURE?

719
00:22:05,893 --> 00:22:06,436
YOU ARE.

720
00:22:07,353 --> 00:22:08,438
>>(AS BILL) WHO'S THE FUTURE?

721
00:22:09,063 --> 00:22:10,064
WHO'S THE FUTURE?

722
00:22:10,481 --> 00:22:11,441
PRETTY YOU.

723
00:22:12,233 --> 00:22:13,276
[EVANY] OH NO. UH, MARK?

724
00:22:14,068 --> 00:22:14,861
THE, UH, LETTER WHERE ALPHONSO

725
00:22:15,570 --> 00:22:16,446
SAYS HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU?

726
00:22:17,363 --> 00:22:17,697
IT'S WRITTEN ON CUMBERVILLE

727
00:22:19,282 --> 00:22:22,452
[■■]

728
00:22:24,745 --> 00:22:27,623
[■■]

729
00:22:28,249 --> 00:22:29,333
[DIRECTOR] AND ACTION!

730
00:22:29,876 --> 00:22:30,626
[MARK] PLEASE...

731
00:22:31,169 --> 00:22:34,088
[EVANY] (COUGHING)

732
00:22:34,672 --> 00:22:34,964
[SCOTT] CHRISTOPHER!

733
00:22:35,590 --> 00:22:36,799
YOU CALL ME CHRISTOPHER!

734
00:22:37,425 --> 00:22:37,842
[DIRECTOR] CHRISTOPHER.

735
00:22:38,301 --> 00:22:38,468
CHRISTOPHER--

736
00:22:39,218 --> 00:22:39,760
[SCOTT] DON'T PATRONIZE ME.

737
00:22:40,094 --> 00:22:41,637
(CRACK)

738
00:22:42,221 --> 00:22:44,265
[SCOTT] (SCREAMING)

739
00:22:44,807 --> 00:22:46,476
[EVANY] (COUGHING)

740
00:22:46,976 --> 00:22:47,143
(CRACK)

741
00:22:47,643 --> 00:22:48,311
[MARK] (GRUNTING)

742
00:22:49,103 --> 00:22:49,520
[EVANY] THIS FLOOR SMELLS LIKE

743
00:22:49,854 --> 00:22:50,730
BEEF.

744
00:22:51,481 --> 00:22:51,522
[DIRECTOR] ALRIGHT, LET'S WORK

745
00:22:52,064 --> 00:22:53,900
TOGETHER HERE. OKAY?

746
00:22:54,609 --> 00:22:55,610
ANY FRUIT IN FRONT OF YOU...

747
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:56,402
[SCOTT] ARE YOU F---ING KIDDING

748
00:22:56,611 --> 00:22:57,236
ME?!

749
00:22:57,612 --> 00:23:08,664
I'M OUT!